Maybe because on your rebound you were with a woman from a Muslim culture that has been known to kill men fooling about with their women in other countries?
Maybe because being with that particular person at that time was questionable in the first place?
Maybe because her friends didn’t approve?
Maybe because you don’t want your personal life public before all your colleagues?
Rejoinder: “You sort of do that anyway.” Reply: “Right, but to what degree do I stop?
Maybe because I don’t want my famously public left-wing politics to affect her work.
Maybe because I don’t want it to be worse if something went wrong? Well, they did, it was mentioned, nothing happened (mainly because it was on private/close friends privacy). Blows that theory out of the water.
Maybe because you want minimum turnaround for a plan B if something went wrong. Jerk! Honestly, in the beginning with part 2: trust was an issue, but 30 months, it wasn’t when it got to the point where it should have been.
Just man up. Be where you are when you’re there, document enough to celebrate your loved one without getting them in trouble if you get gassed at an Occupy rally (do they still have those?)
Do the highlights, like going to weddings, trips to the beach, birthdays. Don’t go wild – it is your professional page, have a little decorum. But do SOMETHING for the woman, for God’s sake. She loves you. She knows she’s with someone who has 3700 friends – trust her judgement; she’s a big girl.
Lessons learned. Agh.